Thursday, December 2, 2010


Her life is hard
but you'd never guess it
Every morning she puts on her face that will get her through the day.
but something in her eyes just gives it away.

So she will runaway, runaway from all her fears
she will runaway, runaway from all her tears.
She'll try to hide from it all
but somehow she falls.

Every night she cries herself to sleep
and dreams of a world where she is loved
she dreads the time when she wakes hand has to face another day.

So she will runaway, runaway from all her fears
she will runaway, runaway from all her tears.
She'll try to hide from it all
but somehow she falls.


I watched the moon float to the ground
decided you'd never turn around
I staired at him for a while relizing he'd never be you
oh no well not today.

Mr.Sparrow set me free of your bonds and chains you set upon me
Let me be
let me see him
let me love who i want too
let him come back to me so i may be there for him
Mr.Sparrow give me your wings to let me fly to the suns
set me free, set me free, set me free

My eyes behold you and my ears hear the sound.
My lips taste of salt in hopes of never more.
This flame is burning still for you
as you try to blow it out with your words
hoof beats match the sound of your heart as you leave me.

Mr.Sparrow set me free of your bonds and chains you set upon me
Let me be
let me see him
let me love who i want too
let him come back to me so i may be there for him
Mr.Sparrow give me your wings to let me fly to the suns
set me free, set me free, set me free

Let go

Close your eyes and dream tonight.
Close your eyes and cry its alright.
Your walls are slowly breaking crubling down.
Your heart is slowly aching.
But all you can do is lie.

You sit there hands in your hair.
Singing all your love is gone youve waited so long.
Yet you still feel the pain
so you quit, quit this game
You have too much shame to blame me.
So let it go.

Pain beats with a rythm of a drum in your mind
Just standing there hand in hand side by side.
lies fill the air
no more but one more
it all falls apart

You sit there hands in your hair
singing all your love is gone youve waited so long
yet you still feel the pain
so you quit, quit this game
you have too much shame too blame me
So let it go
Let it go
Just let it go

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

my poem...

These wings of an angel are hidden behind a fear that someone will hear her sad songs as the darkness grows near. The skies they arent so clear. her eyes stare back at the mirror. her silent sobs break the night. She fears she can no longer fight. This is a new great height. She can not take flight. So she burries her head dispite. Dispite the odds of winning, dispite the odds of failing. She lays there and sighs. Her heart seems to be breaking. As her wings keep on shaking. She closes her eyes to dream.

Ants in my kitchen and some other junck

Its been a while..a long while.
i have decided to write something.
My thoughts...since i have matured ( HA not)
SOOO There is a special someone who has decided that they want to be me...hehehe imposible..but yes this poor girl is copying me in every freaken way. HEY chicka im not that dramatic and you are over dramatizeing everything :) but then agian it makes my day so keep on goin.
Anyways jessy Mcartney...has now become a babe in my book.
I have been eating ranch dressing every day...pretty sick
Today a random boy at school asked me to dance in the rain with him..pretty sure were gettin married now.
I hope life is treating you all is doin pretty darn good for me....
AAHHH i wrote a song on the guitar!
my twin at the moment is sitting on the kitchen floor trying to get little ants into a little home..they wont go in so she is angry.She is now forcing them in.
So i guess ants are somehow coming from under the stove into my kitchen...anyone know how to get rid of a bunch of little ants???

Sunday, January 31, 2010

A world of Hurt

Getting hurt by someone you love hurts the most.
You expect the people in your family to love you the most.
When they hurt you it could be something small but it hurts so much worse.
And seeing this person ruine their life and wont let you help them that hurts as well.
this person knows exactly what to say to break you down..and hearing what they said from someone else it cuts deep.
You stand up for this person when ever they need it..but when you need it the most they run.
some family...
When you find out about something they said when you were having a really hard time makes you want to deck them in the face......and i wish i could i really do.
but i guess you just need to stand tall and try not to fall..keep your chin up and smile

Thursday, January 28, 2010

bottle it up.

Right now im feeling completely lost.
The world is spinning so fast im out of control.
I only feel like crying, hideing, screaming.
These feelings inside are not suposed to be there.
Nighmares keep me from sleep.
Believeing that it could get better keeps me going.
My eyes have stoped crying as if i have run out of tears.
these scars will never heal.
these wounds will never seal.
My hands are shaking.
My heart is breaking.
Faith is shaping into fear.
breathing harder.
So blank.
Minds gone far away.
Eyes gone cloudy.
I cant see the light anylonger.
I cant hold on.
Help the one small word i can not say.
Pain is growing.
im no angel.

this isnt really a poem..i just felt like writing a little about how i feel right this moment..i know kinda emo

Sunday, January 24, 2010

what the heck is up with the love?!

hmm okay so when you like a boy and he doesnt like you back it kinda sucks..i get that. And when a boy likes you ALOT and you just cant find thoughs feelings for the poor boy that sucks as well.
Boys: if you like a girl TELL her we dont catch on very need to just let us know..and if you dont like us then please tell us we dont like to be led on for no darn reason what so ever..we just get angry.
Girls: If you like a boy tell him also..boys do NOT get hints..they are quite slow ( no offence but its so true) so just tell them if they dont like you back then oh well there are LOTS of boys in this big blue world and one of them in bound to be head over heels in love with you.
Never hold on to the past it gets you no where in the present.
Sometimes wanting something is not need to make it happen and you can.
Just watch lion king..they have good songs about love with some advice hidden in the lyrics :)
I hate it when you say the wrong thing to a guy and you just blow it..yeah happens alot haha me and love are not very yes.
Try to get to know the person before you decide you love them or it tends to not end well.
I know how hard it is to not be jelous but do try not to be..even though it can be cute..boys *cough cough* but to much is just alittle scary.
Just cuz i am a girl doesnt mean i look at it at only the girls angle..k it kinda does but i mean i get it guys you do try hard and us girls are picky but just hang on for a little bitt longer we will come around..we always do.
K..ive got school tomorrow...yay..blah
SO time for bed goodnight

Saturday, January 23, 2010


There was a man in World War two who was in one of the camps. He had every thing taken from him, Cothes, food, warmth, good health. The thing about this man was he decided that they could take everything from him but his ability to be happy. Every day this man decided he was going to be happy no matter what happened..and he did.
All of the prisoners looked to this man as a leader because of his kindness, happiness, and wisdom. He survied with his happiness.
If we are able to be just like this man and just be happy no matter what life throws at us we will survie anything. He was able to just see the good in all not what was bad. Even though he was being worked to the bone with very little food, water, clothing, sleep, and warmth he was still happy. No one can take away our happiness no matter how hard they try. Life is good.. some people say there are things you cant get through or get over them..but we can as long as we survie.
You have gotten this far in life and you have done a good job at survieing so keep on going..and be happy

Saturday, January 16, 2010

The way i am.

Im the kinda person who bottles everything up untill i explode.
I think that crying infront of people is a sign of not saying you are weak if you have cried infront of people. hahha to me it only applies to me.
I never tell people what is wrong with me..its just hard to.
After i let it all out i feel so stupid and dramatic so i just kinda beat myself up about it so i never do it again.
I try so hard to put up this wall so that no one can get in and hurt me or make me sad but this wall is just making things worse.
People get so sick of it when i will not tell them what is wrong and i hate it but im trying to fix my little issue but its hard.
..i say but alot.
I try not to let things get to me and im super good at hiding it when they do but i relized i am a very sensitive person hahaha oooo that like hurt my fingers to even type that but its true and it sucks..
But yeah dont know why i wrote about feels good to kinda get it off my chest though.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

What happened to my fishies???

Well okay i had ten fishies at the top of my blog...
Now their are two...
One black.
One white..
HA in the avatar cartoon thingy their are two important fishies one black one white..the white one is like the moon spirit..then black one is bad..idk
So i decided OMG i am going to have The avatar fishie thing!!
YEs i thought i should just put your minds at rest by telling you what happend to my fishies so you wont worry about it :)
Well i just watched a disturbing movie called "the devils back bone" with my mom..
i didnt like kinda scared me..i dont get scared..this movie is just im gonna eat some food and hitt the sack.
So good night sleepy head :) or good morning sunshine :)...what ever floats your boat

Embarrassing moment!!

so yes i am feeling open right now..soo it is embarrassing moment time!!!
okay let me think..hmm
Okay so i love to dance..alot.
And i do tend to do ugly dancing just to make people laugh including myself..;)
Okay so i was in Los Vegas with my mom, my sisters, and a family friend jamie.
We went to the nascar caffee or what ever thing and took pictures by the Race cars..yes highlight of my day right there.
Okay so no one was looking so i thought so a awesome song came on so i decided to break out the ugly dancing..haha
so there i am ugly dancing away and i hear some boys yelling " Oh Yeah shake it girl! hahaha!! move it move it." i stop my moves very fast as i see this group of very good looking boys walk past laughing there butts cheeks quickly turned bright red.
My mom then turned around and looked at my angerly and said " alex stop it. Your making all thoughs old men look at you!"
I never knew how red my cheeks could turn untill that day...all the men at the bar were stairing at me..some were laughing so were just looking..we walked away fast.
Ha after a couple mins of non stop laughing i decided to show my moves again...and once again there were thoughs good lookin boys laughing at me...

Yeah...i have to think of another just hang on untill i post a new one :)

Nothing to say..

At first i never know what to write about on a blog as you can see...
Right now i am looking at a boy..who is quite strange ( im in school FYI) he likes to listen to music very loudly..kinda sounds like harry potter music..
I now think he is very cool...
Today was kinda the same old boring day that i usually have..but today was my last day at this school..cuz i am now going back to my old school..:)
kinda excited..kinda not.
Hmmm there are alot of deep things on my mind right now that i could write about but im not sure if i want to..i like to write about things that will make people smile at my weirdness..i dont like people to know about how i am sad cuz of a certain reason..i dont need pitty parties for me :)
Right this very moment i could tell you every thing that upsets me, makes me cry, makes me angry..what i see and think about when i close my eyes...but hey whats the fun in that? i might write about that soon though.

Kristina's party

Okay so...My dad had this amazing work party at this funky building.
I mean there was ice skating on the roof, arts and crafts, movies, WII, oo and adult WII....
Plus there was a very awesome surprise party for a girl named Karistina....
This building was very confusing and Kristinas party was smack dap in the middle of it all so most people ended up going to this chicks party..ME and my sisters and friend went and sat on this random couch by Kristina's party.
As we sat on this couch we started making fun of this party was quite funny actually..
Okay so we just kept laughing and laughing then all the sudden it went quite as they brang Kristina up the stairs with a bag over her head..we decided it would be mean to tell kristina happy birthday that very moment..:)
After they all scream happy birthday a bunch of them ran out and were screaming i call shot gun to get her..
We decided that they got the wrong Kristina...
haha they went to find the right one!!!
yeah so we just kept crackin jokes all night long...:)
Finally it ended up being just my friend and i sitting on the couch laughing..
this lady came up and told us we had to leave...we looked at each other and said " can you hear what she is saying?" ( in a def persons voice.) she looked at us and surprisingly she knew sign we looked at each other and said " do you understand what she is signing?" ( in the def voice.) finally we looked at each other and said " she is scareing me lets go" ha then we left....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


mmm mmm coconuts are delishious..
of course i was thinking about how coconuts could have gotten its name..
Okay so of course they kinda look like a nut..a very large nut.
And they kinda look like monster coco puffs...hence the name coco.
Put them to gether and what do you get COCONUTS!!!!
okay so here is the story..
this dude was walking along the beaches of Hawaii
Ladi dadi dah and then kaboom!
he gets nocked on the head by a large brown thing that feel out of the tree.
Of course he goes a little coo coo from the nock on the head and he sits there for a min trying to regain his total mental awarness and stuff.
He looks at this thing.
Picks it up.
Smells it.
Tastes it.
He then decides its a nut.
But He did get hitt on the head sooo
he also decides its a coco puff on steriods.
so he put the names together and came out with coconuts.
so he goes home and tells his friends about it and then yeah it just became known as coconuts.

the end

Sunday, January 10, 2010


Nightmares are something i know everyone is in some way scared of.
They are things your parents or lover or anyone can not protect you from.
When they come there is no telling the affects they will have on us after we wake.
Days after we will close our eyes and still see the haunting dream.
No one can ever understand how horrifying the dreams were but us.
We constantly tell ourselfs that they are dreams, they mean nothing,just relax.
Some nightmares are not scarey at all just disturbing.
Maybe all the sudden your married to the person who annoys you most..that could be very disturbing.
Or maybe your hair falls out and your teeth fall out so you wake up fast and hitt your head and give yourself a nasty little cut...haha oh memories.
Anyways i dont know why i am talking about nightmares..but i am about to go to sleep and i was thinking hmm i have a blog..maybe i should check it then i got carried away and started gonna stop myself now.
so goodnight all you lovely people.
Sleep well..unless you live on the opposite side of the world then GOOD MORNING sunshine!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

spirit the mustang

Today my sisters and I watched the disney movie Sprit.
i love that movie so very much.
Just the way they make the horses talk with out really talking its just oooo awesome.
As i payed very close attention to the movie i relized something amazing.
Disney made Sprit like charming.
I mean like he is apealing to me :)
they made him all ruff and tough on the outside but sweet and caring on the inside.
They also made him protective..mmmm
and muscualr.
.............i decided to stop there because spirit is a horse..not a human
haha wow i am so not inlove with a fictional horse....
Nightquil is very strong..:)
anyways im so very tierd so goodnight.

lord of the rings.

Lord of the rings is an amazing movie!
i watched all of the movies in one day.
I decided that Pipin is the hot hobbit.
ooo and when he sings..i think i played that part again and again about 25 times.
The movies are just so cool with the dragons and little people and men with beards and oxen thingys.
My older sister mads calls the dragons linguinis....dont know how that happend
she also calls the dragon riders death eaters...sorry mads..wrong movie!
Me and my sisters are not dorks or anything we just enjoy things that most girls wont admit to loving.
but Mads does admit she is a nerd...thanks for being honest dear haha
With me and my sisters never have a dull moment in our life.
Sorry for getting of subject but yes lord of the rings watch them all...or your not cool!!

Ranch dressing.

Who came up with the name for ranch dressing?
I mean was it made on a ranch?
Maybe the people who made it owned a little dinner.
I think they never really named it they just called the dressing made on the ranch.
Then eventually people started liking the dressing and began asking for the ranch dressing.
And then it just stuck and they left it as ranch dressing.
the end

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

my little out look on life so far....

Some things in life you will never understand, never know why it happend, never know the point of some things, never know what you did wrong...but its just life.

There will always be people in the world who will hurt you. Maybe they will have ment to, or they didnt mean to hurt you. Its just a part of life getting hurt.

Crying is usless it wont change what happend. Bring him or her back to you, or make the pain go away. All crying does is make your eyes all red and puffy, your nose red and runny, your head hurt, and it makes you feel worse.

My way of going about life is just breath and take it a day at a time. Dont look at what will happen dont look at what did happen. Live life in the moment. Dont let what hurt you control your life. Do what you want with your life no one can tell you that you cant do it. Its all up to you. Every one in the world is brilliant in there own way so dont ever think someone else is smarter than you cuz it is not true.

When you are full of anger punch a pillow or a bed. Never a wall or your knuckles will turn bloody and bruised and everyone will know you have anger problems...take it from someone who knows.

When you feel like screaming scream.

If you decide to burst out crying in public tell the people who ask you whats wrong that you got poked in the eye.

When you wake up in the mornings and tell yourself it will all be okay, it will turn out okay. Never get out of bed in the mornings and decide it will be a bad day or your day will be very bad.

If you decide to look at all the small good things in life like the sun rising everyday and the stars coming out at night, having air to breath, food to eat, a roof over your head, clothes, people who love you.etc. Im sure your life will become better in no time.